This past weekend, I sat for 5 hours in the rain at UMASS Boston's commencement ceremonies. Yes, I was wet, cold, hungry, and even sleepy, but I had the opportunity to reflect on what was happening that day. I was there to witness a very good friend I've known since I was a baby in the womb (hehe) graduate from college with her bachelors in sociology. You see, this graduate also had another reason to celebrate this weekend - her 28th birthday.
Back in senior year of high school in 1999 when we were 18, I thought the next natural step after graduation was college. I mean, what else could you do? There's high school and then college. I remember speaking to this good friend about her college process. At the time, she wasn't that interested in school nevermind college. She, who also probably thought that the next natural step was college, applied to a few in the Boston area, but her heart wasn't in it. I vaguely remember hearing her saying that she didn't want to complete the Northeastern application because it required her to write another essay. So, she did the unexpected. She joined the army. To this day, I don't exactly know the reason why she did it. Recruiters came to her high school, but what they exactly told her to convince her to sign her life to them, I do not know. When she told me, I thought she was crazy. How often do you hear a Chinese American 18-year-old female say - I joined the army? To be honest, most Chinese would question why she's not going to school like she's supposed to. I'm sure her parents got a lot of that from their friends. It didn't matter though because she went.
While I was in my first year of college, she jumped around the country for training and then finally ended up in Texas. During these next few years, we still kept in touch. We talked on and off on the phone and maybe even wrote letters. Four years later, as I graduated from college, she came back to Boston. She didn't come back the same person though. She was a completely changed woman. It was fascinating to see how the army changed her....to see the transformation. She was stronger, more confident, and although she was deciding her next steps in life, she was more focused. She went back to school and studied her butt off. She got really involved with the Veterans Upward Bound program and even the Chinatown community. She realized that what she truly wanted to do was social work with veterans.
I really admire her strength. I also feel ashamed when I think back about how crazy I thought she was when she joined the army. Joining the army has affected and influenced her completely to the point where she has found passion for something...a passion that was not there before back in 1999. Who knows who or where she would be if she never joined? The important thing is that she did join and is now heading for a masters of social work in the fall. I'm so proud of her accomplishments.
How silly to think that there are "natural steps" in life. Don't get me wrong. I believe taking natural steps can be a good thing as long as they make sense to you. I'm at the point of my life where the natural steps include - Are you going to buy a house? Are you going to have babies soon? Those are the questions I get at least once a week from people in my life. I'm not having babies. I'm not ready. I'm not buying a house. I don't want to live in Massachusetts. That's what I tell them. They still don't understand. It's ok. It makes sense to me.
Comments (2)
I totally hear you on that. I have seen people make choices that weren't right for them because it seemed like the right time to do it. Eventually, that will always come back to get you, I think.
PS - At my brother's UMass commencement, it was freezing cold and rainy. You're a trooper.
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